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Monday, October 3, 2011


My paternal grandfather died last night.  He was 94. He had a stroke 6 weeks ago and was under hospice care at home, but somehow you are never prepared for the end.  My dad is trying to hold up, but his voice is shaky on the phone.  Dad lost his mother almost 40 years ago to lung cancer (she used to send him to the store to pick up her packs of unfiltered Pall Malls...).  So my dad no longer has his parents.

People are passing out of my life, both personally and in EMS and I don't know how to handle it.  Sometimes I cry, mostly I feel the loss, but then I try to get on with my life.  I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not.  Am I just storing those bodies away in a locked cupboard in the back of my mind?  Will one day the door burst open and overwhelm with emotion?

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