So I had a minor panic attack yesterday.
I was setting up my 2012 calendar.
Now, for as much of a tech-junkie as I am (the kit I take EVERYWHERE contains: Kindle Fire tablet, iPod Touch with med apps & podcasts, iPod Classic for music, Bose headphones, wifi hotspot, solar power pack, iPod external battery, and all chargers/cables for said devices)
BUT I am a Luddite when it comes to calendars.
There's something very visceral about writing down a task then crossing it off. I love that. I'm a constant list-maker.
So when the new year arrives, I'm off to the nearest office supply store to find the perfect calendar. Must be indexed by month, prefer spiral bound, not a ton of extra pages I will need to rip out, and at least letter sized so I can slip important papers in it. These usually run around $20.
Then the fun begins. I go through the calendar and mark out the holidays, pay days, and birthdays. I use different color pens and pencils for this. Then I go through last year's calendar to make sure nothing slips through. It's total overkill and I enjoy it. I get to review last year and see what this year is going to look like. When are the holidays - oooh! should I book a vacation for that long weekend? See? Fun!
But then I started adding in our remaining EMT classes. That's where the panic set in.
24 weeks of class
41 night classes
1 extrication day
7 written exams
1 class written final
1 class practical final
1 NREMT practical
1 NREMT written
Clinicals @ ED and another Ambulance Service
9 weeks of class
16 night classes
3 written exams
I start to add all of the EMT classes, study sessions, reviews, and tests to my new calendar.
BP rises. Flushed. Tachycardic.
Maybe it was the fact that we had a few weeks' break and now it's just class, class, and more class until the final? I don't know. We are just over one-third of the way done and I feel sick.
I have do do this, and do it well. I want to be a good EMT. Hell, I want to be one of the best.
I know I can do this well.
So why am I so freaked out?